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Monday, May 31, 2010
my battle with writing...
It's no secret that the last year has been hellish in more ways than one for my family. I feel as if we've come through a fog and only now are seeing the other side. I also know that there are plenty of other families out there that are in worse situations then we are and have been. I was checking out Sherrilyn Kenyon's post on Facebook last night and she was talking about making it through the tough times. She was heartfelt in her words and I've heard her story before, but hearing about how she persevered despite her pitfalls. After reading it I realized the very important thing that I'd forgotten for awhile... the writing keeps me sane. I need to write and I need to continue to write. I can't get bogged down in the cosmic crap that happens everyday in my life. I need to raise my chin up and look forward, past the obstacles that are at my feet. Most people would be happy with the minor success that I've had. I'm certainly grateful for it. But I'm greedy enough to want to share more of my stories. I want people to cry and laugh and live with my characters. If I can do that then the rest will fall away...
Monday, May 03, 2010
My mother spent her entire life living in fear of anything that she couldn't control. It dominated her life and her health and I'm fairly certain it contributed to her cancer. When she was told that they could do nothing more for her cancer she took the news as stoically as she did with anything else, and then buried herself in fear. My sister and I encouraged her to do the things she'd always wanted while she still could, before the effects would limit her. But she threw away those dreams because she was scared. She even refused to go to Boston for a second opinion because it would have put her outside her element. But in the end, she was calmer than I'd ever seen her. I believe that she'd come to terms with her mortality and there was comfort for her in her belief that there was something else beyond this life.
Today, I made an appointment for a colonoscopy. This will be my third in the 7 years since Mum passed away. I was told it would be October before they could get me in for my procedure. They are booked way in advance because of scheduling issues. Normally, my fear of making waves would have me just accepting it and waiting scared until October. But today I remembered the lesson Mum taught me and I pushed back. I didn't get far, but I did get on a waiting list for cancellations. And I did let them know that this kind of scheduling only advances peoples fears and causes more problems. I did it nicely. I was polite. But I made my point.
When we let fear into our lives we give it a power over us that nothing and no one should have. I've included the article from Psychology Today because it's well written, succinct and urges everyone to Live Courageous.
Know your family's health history.
Make sure that you take the precautions necessary to stay healthy.
Be your own advocate. Don't wait for someone to champion for you.
and lastly, don't let fear take control of your life....Live Courageously.
~ Harriet Elizabeth Beecher Stowe